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Post Partum

Playing me for a fool,

Long after we’ve gone our separate ways.

Acting like you’re a father to our child,

When you’re nothing but a dead beat excuse of a man.

Using social media to set up this pretend life that you don’t have,

Proves just how weak of a man you are.

I pray your child turns out to be nothing like you,

Because I will raise him with values and integrity.

You begged me to have your child,

Yet you know nothing about your son.

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About time. 

About time. .

Alone

It’s been 2.5mobths and I finally just broke down.

It just hit me that I’m a single mother. The man I always dreamed of, loved, is no longer in my life. 

I’m alone. Alone with a baby. My bed is empty. My heart aches.  My breathes are short and quick. I’m alone.

The happiest time of my life has turned into the most difficult year of my life. 

My thoughts are so scrambled. All I can think is how I just needed you to be there for me, but you never were. I bent myself in four to always hold you down. And now I’m alone, alone with an empty soul. 

While you’ll be out there, probably quick to find someone else…. I’ll be a single mother. A broken hearted single mother. 

These thoughts just don’t make sense but I’m just tired of always being strong when I need to break down. I need someone to take care of me. To hug me. To hold me. To help me. To love me. I don’t even know what that feels like. 

Tonight I lie here in my empty bed, broken-hearted and soulless . Alone.

There has never been a day in my life where I’ve felt more alone and hopeless.
Alone and hopeless with a baby to care for.

End of the road…

That moment when it all blows up in your face….
I’m partially to blame. Not being able to let go has always been one of my flaws.
But how can you trust again, when nothing is being done to repair the mistake?

End

After everything we’ve been through,
I think you’ve finally broke me to my core.
I don’t know what to do anymore to fix this,
But I know that I can’t go on anymore.
There is nothing I do that is right,
Your silent treatment is no way for me to live.
You’re constant anger and silence have broken me.
The sad thing is we now have a baby and he’s gonna suffer.
I’ve given you my everything, I’m empty, soulless and sad.
I hope you one day realize what I was doing and why.
It’ll probably be too late, but at least you’ll understand.
I’ll always love you, but I think this is for the best.

Baby Boy

I’ve waited so long to have you here with me,
Just a week ago today you finally became reality.
Although I’ve barely been able to hold you in my arms,
You’re the only thing I can think about.
You are the most precious being I’ve ever seen,
And all I dream about is the day I’ll be able to bring you home.
The minute I saw you I fell in love with you,
Now I can finally understand what it means to be a mom.
You are perfect. You are mine. I’m so proud to call you my son.

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